Wait, who’s talking again?

In a previous post, I shared how Evelyn was the story's narrator for the Fuel Factory. However, as I began to understand the importance of solving an overarching problem, finding the book's voice became increasingly difficult. In solving one problem, a new one was created:

Who was talking?

The children's book already had challenges in that we jump from inside the body (fantasy) to outside of Julia’s body (reality) to see the results of a digestive process. However, the narrative of needing to supply Julia's body with energy belonged to the Engineers. As characters of the book, they needed to be able to communicate with each other. This could confuse the reader, who needed clarity regarding whose voice was speaking.

I don’t remember which came first, but two things solved the problem with the book's voice and unlocked additional story-telling possibilities.

1. I shifted the voice from Evy to Blake, the Foreman character. This allowed him to become the star, which was helpful since I hoped to use them in future books about the body. Evy was no longer relevant as a character, so removing her from the book became necessary. Thankfully, my daughter took the news well! This is the risk of using your kids as characters :-)

1. I gave the Engineers the ability to have little dialog balloons. The book was (and still is) written in rhyme. This left little flexibility for other ideas, as breaking the meter and cadence was a problem for the text. However, the little dialog boxes were treated separately, as the balloons made them visually distinct. That meant they couldn’t be confused with the main rhyme. This opened up so many possibilities for additional comedic moments and silliness, as well as the ability to add clarifying dialog when needed.
   

I introduced these boxes right away to establish them as an important idea. We are introduced to Julia, who isn't speaking, but we also ‘hear’ voices coming from her head. At the page turn, we realize it’s not her talking but the characters inside. I used a little lightning bolt to distinguish between inside and outside dialog.

Finally, adding the dialog balloons as an element gave the book a visual that was more akin to a graphic novel, adding appeal to slightly older or more advanced readers.

For my life, I couldn’t figure out how to rhyme the word Esophagus, so I avoided it. It’s four syllables! Suddenly, with the balloons, I didn’t have to, and I could insert it into them.

In the end, the clarity of the voice allowed for a more focused narrative, eliminated confusion, and opened more dialog possibilities.

Until next time :-)